Life as I Know It

There are times when just out of the blue, you are gripped by a sudden realization that you miss someone so much that you actually start having migraine or a tiny pinch in your chest.  Or sometimes there is really noone in particular, but you just miss the thought or the feeling.  Or that once in a while, you have a “lightbulb” moment and say “yeah, I love that but I haven’t done that for a long while”.  Whatever is the case maybe, I have my list below.

·         I miss the view.  It’s the kind where you are looking at the person you love.  Where every other landscape pales in comparison.  THE view.  It doesn’t matter if he’s freshly showered or not.  It doesn’t matter if you’re looking at him from across the table in a restaurant where the food sucks.  It doesn’t matter if you are looking straight into his eyes or the back of his head.  It doesn’t matter if he’s smiling or sporting that serious look you don’t like.  It doesn’t matter if you’re looking at him from afar, or if you are holding his hands.  With the view, anywhere and anything is special.  And I miss it so bad!

·         I miss Vina.  Her conservative thoughts…  the fru-fru clothes… the square-toed shoes…  the booksale hunt…  her crosswords… her fast paced walking…  her “kuripot” ways…  her constant complain about her hips and saddlebags…  the list is endless.  Bottomline, I haven’t heard from my best friend for a long time.  We hadn’t even talked during the holidays.  She hasn’t emailed either.  She must be very busy with the move to the States.  Or maybe they have already.  I hope she’s doing well.

·         I miss watching plays.  When was the last time I watched a real play?  Years, definitely!  I can’t even remember exactly when the last time was.  Was it the one that Bancard produced?  Holy cow!  That long ago?  I don’t even know if Bancard still exists now.  Back in college, I suppose I’ve seen most of the plays in campus. Back then, the members of the UP Rep and the other clubs were for me the coolest people.  I wonder what became of R.S. Francisco?  He was UP’s Madame Butterfly.  I am still sorry I missed that play.  I was still a freshman then.  I missed it because I couldn’t find anyone to join me and I was too afraid to do things on my own.  How silly.  This year, I will watch one with or without company.

·         I miss jogging.  It’s only the exercise that I enjoy the most.  Back when I was living in UP, I used to jog around the academic oval.  When I left UP, I can do 5 straight rounds without stopping.  During my Summit days, Paolo, Edison and I jogged at Ateneo after office.  If I still lived near QC, jogging would still be a regular habit.  As much as I want to, I can never bring myself to jog along the Pasig River.  Ewww!  Why do I now live in this tree-less part of the metro?  Btw, I tried hard to fall in love with the treadmill.  Man, it’s never the same.  And none is better than a poor substitute.

·         I miss baking.  It is among my best childhood memories.  Mama taught me and my brother how.  I learned to bake when I was 5.  Not really baking, but at that age I used to finish up the mixing of the batter.  At 6, I was able to do a decent butter cake.  By the time I was in grade 2, I made my own white bread.  We used to have a huge White Westinghouse range, and I remember baking extra batches for neighbors and mama’s co-teachers during our fiesta and the holidays.  Although I never learned the trick on how to make a decent sponge (aka chiffon) cake, I’m proud to say I can do a killer chocolate cake by the time I was in high school.  But ever since I went to college, I seemed to have stopped baking.  It was only in December 2004 when I started reacquainting myself with it.  I wish I can say I did enough baking in the past year to polish my skill.  I have not.  But I made a promise to myself.  I will be taking up the hobby every now and then.

·         I miss having roadtrips.  There’s something about just packing up and taking off someplace.  I love looking outside the window at the passing scenery.   I know drivers would think me stupid but I love being on the road while its raining hard outside.  If I knew how to drive and actually have a car, I wonder where I’d end up especially on my topak days :p

·         I miss the beach.  I was in Bora last summer and in Pagudpud last September.  But I did not have fun.  So maybe I should say I miss having fun on the beach?  Maybe.

·         I miss my “reading” days.  As I said before, it’s been a while since I finished a book.  I’m happy to say I actually had a feat yesterday!  After four months, I finally got to the last page of The Man Who Ate a 747.  It was an easy read actually.  Why it took me all these months to finish it, I have no idea.  There used to be a-book-a-night phase.  I still have the same rotten sleeping pattern, so what gives?

·         I miss learning.  They say everyday is a learning process.  But I really do feel that I’ve wasted away.  I think my brain’s as rusty as the scrap metals left unsold and exposed to the elements.  Yes.  I feel so bobo.  I haven’t had a brilliant idea for a long while now.  I need to short circuit this dormant brain.  Geez!  If it were a muscle, it would have atrophied a long time ago :p

·         I miss receiving personal snail mails.  When I was at home last December, I was cleaning up some of old stuff when I stumbled across a bundle of letters.  Most of which are letters and greeting cards from my mama.  I used to receive letters from her every week.  There were a few high school friends who wrote as well.  Perhaps the last real letter I received via snail mail was the ones Ed sent when he was doing his masters in Japan (1998?).  And then the occasional post cards from friends.  Last year, I received an all too familiar VIA AIRMAIL envelope.  It was from mama.  My officemates were kidding me saying “meron pa pala nito?”.  I was excited although the content turned out to be only a clipping about some anti-cancer diet.  Sigh!  Are there even postal stamps sold out there?  How about linen stationeries?  Those were really big things when I was in high school.

…and my guess is that I’m bound to add to this list.  How I wish it will be otherwise.

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28january2007